Shut up so i can feel the spirit!

I was just sitting here hanging out with this girl.....

thinking  about my day and how it didn't go just as i planned golden was called into work so I resumed my role as a single parent for the 5th night this week in addition to completeing an assignment due today, cooking meals, and watching LDS general conference, which was the best part of the day. It's funny cause not that long ago I used to dread listening to two days of endless talks but now, I love watching conference,  because I always feel a renewed zeal to live more righteously, to be a more patient and unselfish parent and spouse, to be more consistent in my prayers and scripture study, and just be a better person plus I usually I get out of it a few personal messages that I needed to hear. I find that i experience a range of emotions from guilt for my failures, encouragement to make changes,and excitement for all of the new things that I will perfect at starting now
..........ok now! Then as usual, life happens and before I know it I am grumpy with my kids and I feel like yelling over the chaos," SHUT UP SO I CAN FEEL THE SPIRIT!!!!!"( that one's for Tobi). so the question is how do I find balance? how do i choose which worthy pursuits to focus on? I often lay awake at night listing all of the things I "should" be doing,
 Before I know it I am practically hyperventilating and in the end feel too overwhelmed to even start. many a sleepless night is due to this list of failures that I keep tally of :

Oh dear!

•  consistent family/personal scrips/prayers                   
• FHE
•  attending the temple
•  visiting teaching 
• having a clean organized house
•  being better prepared
•  going to bed and waking up earlier
•  DIY projects
•  teaching my kids  
• cooking more often
•  being hotter.........the list goes on and on till about 3am.

 The lesson that I feel the lord is painfully trying to teach me is to be satisfied growing "line upon line precept on precept" I think that we all have to find balance and we each experience seasons in our life where certain principles are easier to live, and more pertinent to our progression than others.  the best and most uplifting message of the gospel is our ability to start fresh each day through repentance and the atonement.
  As a parent I  have begun to understand an inkling of the love my father in heaven has for me. I often make promises to my children and put into place requirements that must be met to achieve those rewards I want them to succeed so badly that I am willing to give them chance after chance after exhausting chance because I don't want them to miss out on any of the things I have offered. As I have reflected on this, it has opened my eyes to how our heavenly father must feel about us, how many times he is willing to "gather us in  as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings ".

 If I, an incredibly imperfect parent, am gladly willing to give my children as many chances as it takes to improve, then our Father in Heaven who is infinitely more long suffering must be just as anxious for our improvement so that he can likewise reward our efforts. I know that this is true and even though tonight was not my best parental performance and I probably failed my parenting 505 pop quiz, tomorrow will be better because I will try to remember all of the lessons I learned today and they will inspire me to do better and when I inevitably fall flat on my face (.... so tomorrow morning) I can repent and try again.